This is limited to two areas, Kit Car races and genuine historic racing, read Morgan.  The former have all kit cars of all types racing together but are divided into classes according to engine size.  The overwhelming majority are AC Cobra kits, not my cup of tea really, as I believe the kits simply demonstrate  penis compensation!  I was pleased to see 2 years ago a Lotus Super 7 clone, all be it with a hot turbocharged Mazda 13B rotary, beat all the "muscle" cars for an outright win!  On a fairly tight circuit of course.

The Historic racing scene here is absolutely hysterical in comparison to Australia.  Firstly nothing is called Historic, as it is in the rest of the world, it's Vintage.  The problem is EVERYTHING from Carl Benz buggy to 1970 something formula 1 is all called Vintage which completely ignores the International naming of the periods, Veteran, Vintage and PVT.  There is no national rule book for eligibility, not protest mechanism and no appeal procedure.  The instructions are:-  Prepare a car with history, just pick a point in time of that car's racing history and prepare it "period correct".  Great in theory, but wonderful chaos out there, but it certainly is a free market and lots of fun.  There are 25 "Vintage" auto racing sanctioning groups, some large, some small, some club, some for corporate profit, each markets it's own race car acceptances and preparation rules, so what is accepted in one club can not be raced in another!

Each club also determines whether or not a racing license is necessary and if so what the requirements are.  Most meet twice a year to discuss mutual issues and compare notes, but no "rules" are binding as they are only suggestions!  However, in practice it all seems to work wonderfully well and everyone has much fun.  Surely this is what it really is all about.

Some have also said that the same chaotic situation arises every time a racing cyclecar, slowing for it's pit stop, begins breaking hard enough to stop the planet turning on it axis.  All hoses suddenly become a foot shorter, electric plugs fall from their sockets, all bolts reverse their threads and small tools become covered with oil.  Inanimate objects tend to scurry across the pit floor and things that have been working perfectly for years, like petrol filler caps suddenly become inoperative and have to be rebuilt with broken fingernails!  Not true!  Not True!  Anyway who cares?  Cyclecars are meant to be driven, used for fun and not made to look like a concours winner and thus cause the owner a severe case of pebble pock paranoia and door ding dementia.

A few circuits in the States have all the topographical grandeur of a pool table, whereas others  heave themselves up enough to frustrate the Flat Earth Society.  The latter are the ones preferred by the vintage set.  My observations are that there are indeed features of the racing that are common to every race event, but I do not claim to know them all like the Pope knows runways.

1. Pit Talk and the Passing Rule - If your cyclecar is passed by a presumably faster car, it is noted by the passing driver your car is running exceptionally well.  If your happen to pass a slower car, their car has a horrific miss and is in dire need of tweaking.

2. Back of the Pack Racing - This is where the excitement is supposed to take place.  However, that's only when you're not being lapped.

3. Pit Work - Nothing draws a crowd like a car apart.  Most everyone standing around states they have experienced exactly what you're trying to repair.  The problem is they each also have their own methodology on how to proceed which requires a tool costing more than a tow car or a part they haven't seen in thirty years.

4. The Race Isn't Over Until the Drivers Stop Talking - It is truly amazing how a 20 minute race can generate two days of discussion, no driver is ever bored by the dialog.  Spouses apparently have a very difficult time with this.

5. "The Law of Covet Seepage" - It's a fact,  cyclecars  sometimes leak like a sinking ship.  The mystery is, how can a car so well cared for, and impeccably maintained, ooze like it was assembled with bailing wire and chewing gum?  I've found fluids streaming yards away from anything holding similar liquids.

6. How Fast Will Your Cyclecar  Go?  If there is one question everyone from eight to eighty asks, this is it.  Newer racers attempt to react with the usual cornering dynamics lesson downplaying top end.  Veterans will say 200 miles an hour if the straight is long enough.  The first time I heard this response was from a sprite owner whose vehicle wouldn't hit 90 if it was pushed out of a plane but spectators were satisified.  Go figure, as they say in the states.

7. Did You Win? - The second most popular question comes from non-racing friends and co-workers who obviously equate winning with any semblance of a successful weekend.  A couple of problems here.  Number one,  my chances of winning are as long as losing twenty pounds of spreading love handles.  Second, if lightening did strike and  I was in front of the pack, just try explaining the award, a small piece of black and white cloth on a stick.
8. Spare Pares Boxes Weigh More Than the Car. - OK, I'm a saver too, and had to buy an extra storage unit for parts that will never again see the light of day.  This included stock piling all rusty, bend and useless parts, just in case.  If I ran investments like I do old parts inventories, I'd be holding lots of empty gold mines.  By the way, I have a great lead on a deep hole in Mexico….

Previous page

Back to archive index

Next page